...Channel Cat...

Channel Cat. 

Now what a great name 

for a fish is that, huh? 

Great fish.    

Great taste. 

A damn tough species of fish 

whose overall best feature is their 

imperviousness to any toxic quality 

inherent to bubble bath. 

 

Yessiree. 

A catfish is pretty much 

immune to the effects of sudsy water, 

and to me this is relatively important 

as practically all of my bubble-baths 

are accompanied with the presence of 

two or three of these 

glorious bottom feeders. 

 

Of course, there are times 

when I don’t take bubble-baths, 

and on these rare occasions, 

I bathe sans channel cat 

‘cause there’s nothing grosser than 

looking down into that clear water 

and seeing your 

disgusting pink bulbous torso 

mingling with such a 

visually transcendent array of 

aquatic pisciforms. 

So ultimately,

no bubble-bath; 

no fish. 

 

Okay, now I know what you’re 

thinking at this precise moment. 

You’re saying to yourself, 

“Hey. What about carp?” 

 

Well, I’ll tell you. 

I’ve tried it.

And although carp 

are totally adaptable to 

the presence of bubble-bath, 

take it from me, 

don’t try it. 

Carp are entirely 

too temperamental 

to share a bath with. 

 

Man. You drop an assortment of 

three pronged fishing lures 

into that bubble-bath water; 

a carp goes and 

starts getting energetic on ya… 

You are gonna be inna’ 

hydro-world o’ hurt. 

 

No. 

The docile Channel Cat 

is the way to go. 

As any bubble-bath 

fishy aficionado will tell you, 

you don’t dangle your worm in 

just any tepid water. 

 

And oh yea… 

 

Barracuda? 

 

Don’t even go there. 

 

©05 Jack David Hubbell