...Forever Falling...

At what age do we learn 

the concept of trust? 

Or perhaps it is more 

appropriate to ask, 

at what age do we learn 

the existence of doubt? 

 

There at the table 

adjacent to mine, 

a great-grandmother 

holds her great-granddaughter. 

Just a baby, 

the granddaughter is a frail thing which 

thrusts its tiny legs out in 

an ever ecstatic attempt to stand. 

 

The grandmother holds the child 

with her liver-spotted fingers wrapped 

around a delicate ribcage, 

and brings its porcelain face 

close up to hers. 

Now perhaps it’s an attempt 

to get the child use 

to the concept of balance 

and with that,

the act of standing, 

but periodically 

her hands release their grip, 

the child begins to fall away from her. 

And there from the doting 

great-grandmother’s mouth 

come the words, 

“I’m gonna drop ya.” 

 

And as the child is falling… 

    There just at the last moment, 

the ancient hands 

quickly close back in  

to cease its fall 

towards the harsh reality 

   of the floor below. 

 

And there it stands. 

And there it begins its fall again. 

And there those 

same threatening words, 

“I’m gonna drop you. 

    I’m gonna drop you.” 

 

And again and again 

these words are made 

in a strangely playful 

taunting fashion. 

Yes indeed, 

she makes good on her threat. 

She does release her grip. 

Indeed that doe-eyed child 

experiences the fall, 

   but not the fall. 

 

And I ask myself, 

“What message 

is being conveyed here?” 

 

Now, I do not deny that 

this grandmother 

loves her grandchild, 

but why the macabre verbiage? 

Why this macabre action? 

 

I will acknowledge  

the baby’s vocabulary likely 

does not allow comprehension 

of the phrase,

“I’m gonna drop you,” 

but from the look of 

astonishment on its face, 

there’s a chance 

it understands the 

intent of that 

prune face above it 

spouting gibberish. 

 

How can there not be a form of 

deep-set Freudian trauma 

instilled into an infant 

at such moments within 

their primordial soup 

emotional programming? 

 

Well, it may just be that that child 

will turn out okay. 

Heck, it just may be that 

both you and I

had a grandparent, an aunt, 

a mother, or father 

who did this exact same routine. 

And we all turned out okay, 

    now     didn’t we? 

 

When I married my wife, 

there was that part 

where I stood there before her 

and said,    “I do.” 

 

Yes, indeed, I said that, 

but what I meant to say is, 

“I’m going to let you down.” 

 

Indeed, she may 

have heard me say, 

 

“I will let you fall.”  

 

And after all this time, 

there my wife still sits. 

Still adoring me. 

Somehow figuring 

the falling in love part 

has always been worth 

the constant fall.      

 

©05 Jack David Hubbell