...I’m a Phuqin’ Poet...

You know, 

it hasn’t been easy 

living the life of a global 

multi-media superstar. 

Yea.

I could have lived the life of 

the common people. 

I could have been just like all of you 

     little people. 

Oh, and I don’t mean to be 

condescending but, 

you are what you are. 

I, on the other hand, 

am a 

poet.

 

Sure.

You got your celebrities. 

You got your rock musicians. 

You got your football heroes. 

You got your porn stars. 

But there… 

There at the top of the heap… 

Like a cultural black hole, 

sucking in all your adoration… 

It’s me. 

The Po-et! 

 

Oh yes, I abound with poet groupies. 

Hell. You don’t think 

Charles Bukowski got laid in his prime? 

Yo! Dig out a photo. 

That’s one ugly some-bitch! 

 

Oh sure. 

Sure.

I could have downgraded my 

aspirations one notch and 

become a porn star, 

but who do you think gets more sex, huh? 

Yep.

That’s right. 

The porn star. 

 

I…  wha…? 

 

Fuck!

I knew I made the wrong career choice. 

 

Ó05 Jack David Hubbell