Friday, November 03, 2006

Too Tarik or Not Tarik
I am mesmerized by his pelvic thrust.
Indeed, if it’s permissible to say that
a man’s hip gyrations can be beautiful,
then this man
is gorgeous.

If only my spastic
crotch undulations were capable of
receiving the same public adulation.

His name?
His name is Tarik,
and Tarik
is a belly dancer.

Right now, in your mind,
you’re visualizing Tarik doing
tush-push to infinity.
But no…
That’s crude.
What we are talking here
is the ultimate of grind refinement.
Yes, here we have a man
in touch with his
Indeed, a master of such
controlled cervical convulsion
that you wonder how his gonads
haven’t been puréed from
glandular globes
to gushing goo.
That Tarik’s tenacious testicles
still tenement tadpoles
is a true testament of testis toughness.

There is no doubt that
this man
is a man’s man.

Try as I might,
I could never do precisely what
Tarik does with his body.
Heaven knows I’ve tried.
You’ve no idea of the long hours I’ve spent
standing in front of a mirror
bumping and tush-pushing.
No idea of all the furniture I’ve knocked over;
the porcelain smashed.
Where people will pay good money to see
Tarik perform on stage,
should I choose to bring a little culture
to my staid and sober neighbors…
You’d think they’d never seen
a grown man
standing beneath a street lamp
in neon Speedos.

Curtains end up being drawn.
Someone calls 911.
My wife comes screaming outta the house
with a blanket.
Everybody’s a critic.

So what’s Tarik got
that I don’t got?
A fancy stage name?
I could do that.
Sure. I admit that
whereas all I’ve got is Speedos,
Mr. Bollywood there’s got that
chartreuse genii outfit.
And yea, I know.
Whereas he’s got his vast
variety of technique,
my pelvic thrust admittedly
tends towards the repetitious,
but hey!
Thrust is thrust.

And of course there’s a certain
danger factor I must contend with.
Toss just any of those
groin gymnastics in there,
you’re bound to throw a rod,
and solid rods are hard to come by.

No. I figure what it comes down to
is Tarik’s being
genetically predisposed
to the act of belly dancing.
Oh, nothing to do with talent really.
Rather more to do with body aesthetics.
And when you truly get down to it,
it’s all about belly buttons.
Where Tarik was obviously blessed with an “inny”,
my belly tends more towards
an “outty”.

‘Course, I know you’re having a rough time
trying to visualize my belly
but trust me,
it’s there.

And if it weren’t for the court order
and the fact my wife hid my Speedos,
trust me again,
it’d be show time here at the Apollo
for Big P Elvis
and his amazing hypnotic pelvis!

Oh, you want it.
You know you want it.

©06 Jack Hubbell

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