...My Wife is a Ghost...

My wife is a ghost. 

Yes, a ghost, and 

this is doubly strange 

since at this moment 

she’s still alive. 

Now, to be honest, 

I’ve never seen my wife as a ghost, 

but then again, 

there are times when I’ve 

passed her in the hallway 

and she may just have been the 

“as ghost” variation. 

Okay…    Okay… 

The confused look on your face 

says you need more information. 

I guess there’s really only 

one person out there who, 

as of this current date, 

has absolutely seen 

my wife the ghost. 

This acquaintance from my wife’s past 

is a woman of questionable mental health. 

Oh, and being of 

questionable mental health, 

how is it that she can discern 

that the figure that passes her 

in her own dark hall 

is not my wife but 

the ghost of my wife? 

Is there some etiquette 

whereby a ghost is required 

to produce a faint glow 

or some element of translucency? 

Apparently my wife is 

only one of a group of individuals 

who haunt this woman, and 

all but one of these ghosts are alive. 

The one individual actually dead 

is an ex-husband whom this woman 

supposedly drove to suicide by hanging. 

So yea, it somehow seems appropriate 

   that he haunt her. 

Yes, he should, 

but my wife? 

Now supposedly, other than my wife 

all these ghosts constantly 

chastise this woman. 

The only malicious activity 

my ghost wife participates in 

is to periodically steal items off 

her car in the communal parking lot. 

I guess this is pretty tame compared to 

the verbal harassment she receives 

from family member ghosts. 

My non-ghost wife periodically receives 

phone calls from this woman 

whereby she makes reference 

to conversations had 

with my ghost wife. 

Of course my wife gets perturbed 

and her friend gets doubly perturbed 

at my wife’s inability to remember 

their previous conversations 

in the ether world. 

So just how does my wife appear 

in apparition form? 

What clothes does she wear? 

Most ghosts express a little attitude 

for having to be dead, but 

when you’re still alive 

I’m sure it’s considered 

a bit gauche to act pissed. 

“What you moanin’ 

and groanin’ bout. 

You still alive!” 

So anyway, I’m sorta curious 

as to how my wife acts in 

the supposed realm of ghostdom. 

Is she polite? 

Does she pick up after this woman 

the way she picks up after me? 

During a perfectly normal conversation, 

is she compelled to stop periodically 

and let out a loud unnerving cackle? 

If my wife is predisposed to haunting, 

is there anyone else out there 

she’s currently visiting every night? 

Should I forgive my real wife 

her quiet moods for the fact 

she’s just got back from 

haunting someone and is 

just plain screeched out? 

Of course the flip side to all this 

is that it could just be that 

this woman may be insane. 

Yep, absolutely nuts. 

I know this because 

my wife just told me. 

She’s here right now, 

standing in front of me. 

“What’s that dear? 

No, you don’t have to move. 

Everyone can still see me. 

You’re fairly transparent 

tonight.” 

Ó03 Jack David Hubbell