Coito-Frigo-Phobia
I guess it’s not surprising that
if you’re messed up mentally,
you could be unstable in
more than one way.
Yea, well,
he had some phobias.
Note that that’s phobia plural.
Oh no.
Not one.
Not one, but two.
But then it wasn’t two but rather,
two combined into one.

His therapist said
there was one phobia called
“Frigophobia”,
i.e., the fear of cold things.”
And then there was
“Coitophobia”.
Ahem…
The fear of performing coitus.
You know…
Sexual intercourse.
The ol’ in-out in-out.

Strangely enough,
he didn’t suffer from
each of these separately.
No. No, it was something
his dad had said when he was a kid
that acted as trigger for his neurosis.

His dad
(and I’m trying to be cautious here)…
His dad said that he, the son
was lucky to be around.
Lucky to even exist for the fact that
his wife, the son’s mom, was
“so damn frigid.”

Frigid?
Sex?
Sex…Frigid?
Women’s private parts were
freezing cold?!
What the fuck?!
Well, you know what?
That would explain a heck of allot.
Kind of explain why
a certain part of his anatomy did
certain things at
certain times.

Yes, ever since that first moment
when he as a young man had seen his
first attractive woman and that
special little part of him
sorta…
froze up.

You know,
just froze up absolutely solid.

Don’t laugh.
This is serious!
It was frozen.

Frozen solid!

Oh…

Oh, the horror!

The HORROR!

©05 Jack Hubbell