...Woman with an UZI...

I can see that you’re upset. 

Deep inside I feel your pain. 

No need to go full auto, 

when I’m sure I can explain.

If you’d only pause to listen,

click the safety on to off, 

while I ponder my infraction, 

and this new toy that you’ve bought.

K-Mart special submachine gun. 

Box of ammo really cheap. 

I’m sure they’d take it back dear, 

if you’ve still got the receipt. 

Cosmetics vs. hollow points? 

I  can see that you’re confused. 

One’s not quite Vogue accessorized 

when bullets clash with shoes. 

The latest fashion is compassion. 

Seeking vengeance so passé. 

Martha Stewart’s Guns n’ Ammo 

won’t come out ‘til late in May. 

Was it something that I said dear?

Something vile or cruel in part? 

Enough that you ejaculate, 

pumping lead into my heart. 

My attitude’s been altered

via emotive circumstance… 

Yes, the UZI’s made its point dear, 

‘cause I think I peed my pants.

Ó01 Jack David Hubbell