...Car Tooned...
To envision the necessity for rules
would somehow infer the prior existence
of those whom we declare to be lawless.
Submission to some societal norm.
Them who do and those who don’t.
Tosh, twaddle, trash and
turgid trumpery.
Their palette of etiquette—
nuanced shades of righteous rot.
Those whose professed
manifestos rest
upon what vile colors
they here detest.
What rainbow hues
dare fail their test.
What tribal tints
they hold in jest.
The color red.
The color green.
That yellow which falls in between.
Within this particular intersection,
it is not the color of the traffic lights
which I here now find disturbing.
No, it’s the color of that man,
there in the car to my right.
Oh, perhaps you here find
my chromatic critique
just this side of indecorous,
but now listen:
Before you lambast the lurid locution,
let me explain.
It’s 7 AM in the morning
and the man there in the far right lane
has a color inherent to his skin
which leaves me naught but unhinged.
Pigmentation violation.
Vile pigment taint as paint.
Yes, taint as pigment paint.
His face was covered in paint.
Awash with a worrisome white,
crimson besmirched lips and a
pseudo smear of charcoal tears.
Surrounding his face,
a fringe of electric hair,
and there mid mug
where it shoulda’ been pug,
a bulbous big red nose.
Polka dots! Polka dots! Polka dots!
His billowed sleeve hanging there
at the door’s window sill
is bedazzled with brash polka dots!
Aghast!
I and this fellow inhuman
have just now arrived at a
mutually mute intersection,
and that man…
That man over there is a freakin’ clown!
Oh, and I abruptly presume
to dislike him. Why?
You need to ask?!
Look at him!
He and I are most
certainly not the same!
At this junction in our lives,
should he choose to look at me,
he sees nothing but utter enigma.
But I…
I look at him and see
catastrophic chaos.
I see havoc and anarchy.
I see riot and maniacal melee.
And no,
none of these said attributes
denote the greater good.
Is that man beneath the skin
any less a clown than that
paint upon his ludicrous face
here now signifies?
Would he be any less a clown
were opposed to the wash of white,
his skin was painted
entirely orange?
As a responsible auto operator,
I have certain apprehensions.
Foremost among such
concussive concerns
is that mental motor- manics
veer volatile
and frantic.
Listen:
There are those
within our government
who decide who can or
cannot be trusted to
safely operate a car.
And here at some
adjudicated point
within our mutually shared past,
there was someone who came to decree
that this one clown could drive.
That beyond the absurd fact
that he’s currently sharing said
traffic intersection with me,
there could come a point when
his vehicle might actually
contain passengers other than himself.
Their dire destiny aligned
with said silly chauffer, he,
tee-he-he, a bungling clown.
And this…
Just who decided this?
Who cast their vaunted vote
that such a man with
garish painted face
might come to hold dominion over
the fate of them who
here come to fall
before his
wobble wonky wheel?
Scaramouch.
Prithee a Pantaloon.
He, a blatant buffoon.
And here we two make eye contact.
I with him;
he with I.
Both of us sharing
this fateful intersection.
Both of us waiting for the other
to concuss commit to our
mutual head-on collision.
I have no sense of humor,
and thus in fear
for my sullen soul,
bequeath this clown
his right of way,
and yield unto him
a buxom bozo berth.
And there as our circus suspense
inflates balloons to bursting point,
that cartooned turn-indicator
over there at the distant curb
begins to pulse and palpitate.
Yet opposed to spilling forth a
cartwheel of clowns and chaos,
its tires merely edge to the right
and accelerate yon
to utter absurdity,
whilst I instead
turn to the left
and away
towards a secure and
sensible world,
raptly absent apocalypse.
Ó2019 Jack David Hubbell
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